"I am oppressed by the uncertainty of my future...but I cherish the lively hope of seeing my dreams fulfilled because the Lord cannot place desires in a person's heart unless He intends to fulfill them, to gratify those longings that He alone has created." -St. Padre PioAnyone ever think about the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side"? I'm experiencing it right now. I just get back from my advising session for the spring semester and my head is in a tailspin. There are so many possibilities!
That's my green grass... I am at the point in my life where I could head down about 89 gagillion (Yes thats a number) different paths. It's the beauty of going to such a great school. Yet it's also so difficult because I don't know which one there is to choose. The grass seems a little bit more green on the side of the person who has one path and will stick to it. For awhile I thought I had that... I have been acting since I was four and thought that was the path. But suppose it isn't? Well that leaves me with zero idea of what I am supposed to do with my life.
Here's the thing: It's not about what I want to do anymore. That's what I have been slowly learning the past year or so. I have a purpose and a reason for why I am here. It no longer matters what my ambitions are. If they don't coincide with the Father's, well then the thing that I thought would make me happy will instead make me miserable.
So I am trying to discern His will. And boy it's tough! A dear mentor of mine named Mama Lynch once told me that if I get out of bed every morning and tell the Lord "Thy will be done." then even if I don't know what His will is, I will do it. As the bible says
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be given unto you" Matthew 6:33So there's the plan. There's the path. It's a scary path, because the unknown is frightening to us humans. It's scary to me to just trust that He has a plan and that it is perfect, but that's what I am going to do.
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