The Joy of Trying Something New

I don't really remember blushing as I was growing up. I guess with all the time on stage I just was used to making a fool out of myself and I was okay with that. The adrenaline was addicting, and hearing people laugh (whether with me or at me) was fun! I don't know what happened, but my blush-less existence ended in April. 

I was beginning a retreat at my church one Friday afternoon, and we were going around a huge circle of 30-40 people saying who we were and why we were there. Most people seemed pretty uncomfortable, so I decided to throw a joke into my answer. When my turn came I slapped a huge smile on my face, stepped forward, and exclaimed "Hi my name is Rachel and I am here because I need some energy and I want this retreat to be a Red Bull for my soul!" (Yes. It's cheesy. That's beside the point. Focus people.) Everyone laughed, and something weird happened. My face got hotter than the surface of the sun, and I immediately couldn't look anyone in the eye. The moment seemed to go on forever, and I have never been more grateful to step back in line. What was that??? 

I figured it was just a fluke, but the rest of the weekend was a hot faced mess. I could barely answer a question without blushing. What was wrong with me??? I had said a prayer for humility a few weeks ago, but this seemed like a very strange way to get it!

That was 3 months ago and I think my body is trying to make up for a lifetime of un-Tomato-ness. There are evenings where I am pretty sure I look like I am permanently sunburnt. 

While I haven't warmed up (pun intended) to my new blushing habit, I have accepted it a little bit more. I can't control it, so why worry?? 

Last night was a perfect example of accepting my new rosy demeanor. I was invited to go salsa dancing with a friend of mine at a bar nearby. Have I been salsa dancing before?? Nope. Was I going to be bad? Most definitely. Did I say yes? You bet your Texas summer heat I did. 

We got to the club and I felt a little bit like the inner voice of Lizzie as she shrieked "RUUUUUUUUUN" in the Lizzie McGuire Movie. 

{if you caught that reference- gold star! If you didn't- here's what I mean}

{While you should watch the whole video, the part I'm talking about is at 2:45} 

But I didn't drive myself, hence I was stuck. I watched from the side of the dance floor, trying desperately to memorize the moves and praying no guy asked me to dance. 

1 song in, I was approached by a nice looking guy and asked to dance. 

"I'm really bad," I warned him. "I've never salsa'd before."

He said that was alright and that he would teach me.

I wish I could say that I am a natural talent... I'm not. Oh well. But instead of fleeing the scene and hiding in the bathroom, I gritted my teeth and tried to look at least a little bit normal. Luckily, my dance partners were very kind and gracious to the fact that I was a newcomer to their world. Also luckily, the dance floor was dark, and no one could see the heat that stubbornly refused to go away. 

It took 3 or 4 songs, but lo and behold, I began to enjoy myself! There were nice guys and good music.  Each dancer taught me something new, and I loved all of the variety in this style of dancing! I was so glad that I forced myself to try again.

The evening was a lesson in humility. Every time I missed a step, I laughed at myself and moved on. Allowing the embarrassment to stay but not letting it affect my time really changed the nature of the evening. I was having a blast, and chose not to notice the other things. 

Wouldn't it be great if we could do that with all things? We could speak up without worrying what others think? Act a certain way and like certain things without getting anxiety over the acceptance of others around us? Try new things and not freak out about looking like a dork? 

It's a challenge to be sure, but I gather it would be worth it. 

Is there something you have always wanted to try but haven't yet? What's holding you back?? 

Finding Your Passion

So I've shared that I am no longer a theatre major. (You can check that out here if you're catching up) While it is exhilarating being apart from that lifestyle for the first time in my life, it's also scary as heck. 

I've been following one path for 15 years. Fifteen years. Now that I have stepped off, I have an infinite number to choose from. But the problem is that there are an infinite number to choose from. Before I got all bent out of shape, I recalled Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord, "Plans for your welfare and not for woe, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Oh yea. Forgot about that. I don't have to choose which way to go based on myself alone. I get to discern that road with God, who created the whole pathway system, standing right beside me. What a relief! 

Better than that, the Lord gave us clues pointing to the mission He prepared for us. These clues are the tools we will need to achieve our mission. Our talents. What are those things that you are really good at?? What would you like to spend the most time doing?? God gave you gifts for a reason and it is our duty to use them well. 

I've been discovering some of my own more fully this summer. Being out in California for a month as a writing intern has really challenged me to hone my skills, and I have been able to see the types of writing that I am good at, as well as some that challenge me. I love writing editorially (and people wonder why I have a blog) as well as writing movie reviews. I'm not very good at news pieces though. I've also learned how to interview people, and how to successfully communicate myself to fellow employees. 

It ain't much, but it's a start and I am fully confident that the Lord will use those things for His will. 

Who knows what will happen?? 

Prayer for the Week: Trust during the Walk

There are days where God is so very visible. Days where every step seems Divinely planned and the path is paved and the journey is easy.

But then there are others. Days where things go wrong. Days where I embarrass myself. When I am inconsiderate, unloving, weak, or rude. When there is incredibly bad traffic (which is enough to make me turn into Goliath), or someone hurts my feelings. When I fail to remember the simple "Behold I AM with thee until the end of time". It is during those days that I get frustrated with the Lord. I complain that I cannot feel Him near me and sarcastically comment "anytime now!"

The thing I have to remember is that God never promised that it would be easy. He did not say that following Him would lead to a lifetime of smooth sailing. In fact, He said the opposite.

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you."

John 15:18

So when I have those days (the hard ones) I should take comfort in the fact that, while it's still a difficult road, God is walking with me the entire time. There is a song by Group 1 Crew that reminds me of this:

"Don't forget what He said. He said 'I won't give you more than you can take and I might let you bend but I won't let you break. You know I'll never ever let you go.'"

Scripture tells us to trust in His protection: 

"He will cover you with His feathers,
    and under His wings you will find refuge;
    His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you."

Psalm 91:4-7

Dear Lord,

Thank You for walking with me. Thank You for planning my pathways on the good days and even the bad ones. Father I pray that, no matter how hard the steps become, they always point towards You. Help me to move closer and closer with each step. Give me the determination to journey with integrity, faithfulness, and joy. As my time here in California comes to a close, help me to finish strong. Thank You for the opportunity to serve You out here, and please bless everyone I have met along the way. Thank You for Your grace. Thank You for Your peace. Please help us to glorify You in all that we do. 

In Your Son's most precious and holy Name,

Amen. 

*Drum Roll* New Look!

Hey y'all... welcome back :) I've been working hard on some new stuff to spruce things up around here and I am so pleased to finally have it 99% done!

(the 1% is a few pictures that aren't showing up on certain posts. I'm sorry about that and am trying hard to figure out what the heck is wrong) 

But anywayssss here is the new look! More Texas, more pretty, more yay! I also am back to a regular posting schedule. Get pumped. If you've ever wanted to stalk my life now is the time to do it. I've even included handy dandy tabs at the top to help you navigate around! Hope you find what you're looking for! Also- make sure to follow/like/pin to your heart's desire so you never miss out on what's happening (just in case you aren't up to date on your FB stalking ;P).

I always love to hear from you, so if you have anything to say about the new layout, your summer, or the new royal baby I would love to chat!!

xoxo,

Rachel 

Juuuust in case you forgot what I looked like ;) #shamelessselfie #shamelesshashtag

A Little Taste of Infinity

There's this coffee shop in the Wack. It's called Common Grounds and it's one of my favorite places. There are a myraid of reasons for this: cozy furniture, the cowboy coffee, & cute baristas. But without a doubt my favorite thing about it is that sometimes when I am there, I get a taste of infinity.

A taste of infinity is when your soul swells. It's something that creates a huge smile, a clearness of thought, a lightness of being. It's those moments that you really really don't want to end. 

I get that feeling when I'm having coffee with a good friend. One Monday my Tri Delta Big (she's the greatest) met me at CG and we spent an hour catching up over some iced Cowboy's (tee hee). It was one of those hours that went by in a blink and I seriously did not want to leave. But the real world did not slow down, and we had to jump back in. The hour recharged me however and it was easier to keep up.

My lovely Big :) 

I think that's the point of those moments, those glimpses of infinity. They recharge us for dealing with the other things. All of the deadlines, the stress, the fighting, the lack of sleep, the yuck, the ick, the blah, all of it is made better after one of these encounters. 

I starting marinating on this and came up with my things that give me "moments of infinity" 

-Mass & Adoration 

-Good conversation

-Coffee

-Crafting

-Baking

-Long drives with good music

-A really good book

The great thing about having a list like this is that I know where to run when I need a power boost. When the weight of the world is too heavy, an hour doing one of these things gives me strength to lift it up a bit higher for a bit longer. 

These things make me think of Heaven. These little tastes that I want to go on forever is what I imagine heaven to be like. It's the eternal smile, light heart, clear head, and content soul. Union with God will be like that. The most wonderful thing about that is that it won't end. It's an eternity feeling perfectly content because we will be united with He from whom all content-ness flows. How enticing! Until that day comes though I will take comfort in my earthly moments of infinity.

What are your moments of infinity?? Make sure to thank Him for those moments today!

xoxo, Rachel 

Prayer for the Week: First Day of the Internship!!

This is it. I am 2 hours away from starting a month long writing internship at Movieguide.org. These plans have been in the works for 3 months, yet now that the morning is actually here it feels a bit like a dream. My father (glorious man that he is) flew down here with me on Saturday to get me situated and help with the rental car situation (Have you ever tried to rent a car at 19? It's akin to trying to rent a child. Try it. Doesn't happen as easily as one would hope). We spent the weekend traveling around my new area, discovering new restaurants, churches, shopping, & a beach or two. It's been so lovely spending this weekend with him just the two of us. 

We woke up at a bright 5:15 AM to get ready for the day. It was supposed to take us 45 minutes to get to the rental place, and knowing LA traffic, we wanted to allow wriggle room. So we left at 615. And got here at 7. Maybe it's the holiday or perhaps the sun only being up for about 30 minutes but there was absolutely NO TRAFFIC. It was swell. Now we are sitting at a Starbucks relaxing. Well… he is relaxing while I am trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach that seem to be getting more hyper by the second. I am so excited for this opportunity and want to do the best that I can. Perhaps a little divine intervention will help. If you feel so inclined, please help me pray for this week. 

Dear Lord,

Thank You for opportunities. Thank You for save travels. Thank you for traffic free mornings. Thank you for butterflies and pretty weather and coffee. Creator God, you are so magnificent that we want to imitate Your creativity. Please help us this week to do just that and to do it for the glory of Your kingdom. I humbly ask that You make us worthy servants of Your will and of Your plan. Without You none of this makes sense. Keep us mindful of that as we go through this week. Father I plead that You are right beside us this week as we walk through it. Keep our paths straight and our eyes fixed upon Your face. We love you Lord. Help us to do it better. 

In Your Son Jesus's Name, through the intercession of Our Mother,

Amen.

Have a wonderful wonderful week y'all!

(Here are some pictures from this weekend) 

Airplane travel made comfy. Pilcro Jeans from Anthro are the most comfortable things ever. Buy them in every color. 

Shameless Selfies :) 

Hunnington Beach on Sunday 

The pretty mission style church St. Mary Magdalene 

This meal rocked my socks off and was totally Paleo! Balsamic Vinegar Pork Chop over sweet potato smashers and broccoli. Y. U. M. 

Some of my favorite pictures from Sunday's Church hunt :) 

Starbucks selfies this morning ;) 

Did I overpack? Yes. But the Girl Scouts always told me to be prepared! 

Kate from Lizzie McGuire would be oh so upset at me because I am outfit repeating. I wore this my first day at Anthro and it brought me luck! I hope it does the same today!